darn.. my last day at mango this afternoon... feel sad siak..
came to work early today...Regina had given me a parcel.. she had told me not to see it till i'm home.. but curiosity got the best of me..
i read the card she gave me and fuck, i was so touched by her words...really. while i as being touched reading it, jenny gave me her hug and wished e all the best... & can u believe it , i was weeping..
thinking back all the ups and downs i've been thru over here..
tot i wud neva cry leaving there... but i did.. LOL..

Here goes my feelings thru out the years..

Feelings of sadness and happiness...
emerged...
i dread when these collides..
need to leave in gd...
to never step on bad climax..

never in their eyes..
whats good i done,
ever been praised..
whats bad i done,
always brought across like a horizon.
bad karma, i thought
just bad karma..

but is karma to be blamed..
i guess not..
or is it just me..
always been referred..
as a bad apple to the ' families'..
what have i done..?

Maybe i just like to voice out my opinion..
but is it fair to pass ..
pass their own judgements on me..
for i..
never once got aggravated abruptly..
for no apparent reason..
no its not me dear supervisor..
cant you see...

i always did what is supposed to be carried out & instructed..?
cant you see..
how red eye they are when we try to help them in gd will.
only to be dissed by them behind closed doors..
cant you see...
they enjoy doing these to their own self satisfaction...??

cant you see..
how they accuse me of stealing...?
without checking their records as to whether i bought the items...?
how they went spreadin words to bring one down...
cant you see how pressured i am..
days i've cried in silence but nobody knows...
all that they said was i always try to make them bad..

who am i..?
i'm jus a jr who working her ass off...
while they...
thinking they control situations..
just order and boss us ard..
then only to bitch that we..
the jrs cant work without a head..
shit..

them confrontations always on me..
about that i am always looking for trouble..
can you believe it..
been living with this for 4 years..
all the heartaches..

but on top of all this..
there were happy times too..
that durin amandas time...
though shortlivd..

Will always remember those smiles..
the jokes we shared...
the cheerful laughters...
the funny goofs we pulled off..
the warmth...(to certain extend)
the friendship...
regina...(my leaning shoulders)
sulastrie(my best malay frn)
corine(with her neurotic-ness)
amanda(the only supervisor i really voiced out my being pinned)
jenny(one who sometimes 'irks' me..hehe..who puts some rational mindings in me)
ivy ng..(one who always advises & believes in me..)
angie & peggy..(the bad and gds..hehe..thanks for being a darlin)

reminiscense all thats left..
its gotta be...
sure gonna have the memories for thoughts..
& so.. i have to move on.. & move on
& move on..

Bless those whos been nice to me..
to those that did me wrong too..
for i believe the hurt i've felt..
can only heal thru forgiveness..

thus..gd luck msb..
thank you for all the 'opportunities' whenever..
Thanks for the repetition..
& the rough sailing experience i've been thru
all these years..

I just pray..
my new working environment..
is a great place to be in..
amen.